Mindful Parenting During and After Treatment

Active addiction can rob us of everything that we hold precious. This includes precious relationships like the ones we have with our children. In recovery, we have an opportunity to turn that all around. We get to recover and repair these strained relationships, especially when we utilize the process of mindful parenting.

What Is Mindful Parenting?

Mindful parenting is about bringing more understanding, concentration, and inquisitiveness into the interactions that one has with their children. It is also a method aimed at bringing more positivity into the exchanges that parents have with their children.

Mindful parenting also leads to better relationship outcomes. According to the Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, “Incorporating mindful awareness into parenting interactions can allow parents to stop and fundamentally shift their awareness in order to view their present-moment parenting experience within the context of the long-term relationship that they have with their child, as well as attend to their child’s needs while exercising self-regulation and wise choice in their actions. As in most domains, it is believed that acting primarily from automatic, self-focused, or hedonic motivations in parenting interactions will likely lead to less than optimal quality in parent-child relationships.”

The Two Antennas

It is important to remember that we all have two “antennas.” One is how we interact with the outside world, and the other is how we go inside and interact with ourselves.

In mindful parenting, the two antennas are how we treat the relationship with our children, as well as how we review and judge our motivations, choices, and actions regarding those relationships. It is how we show compassion for others, as well as how we show compassion for ourselves.

Self-Compassion

Self-compassion can be difficult to attain for parents new in recovery. This is often due to the judgment they hold of their previous actions in active addiction. These judgments must be dropped if we are to move forward.

As is often said in recovery, “We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.” This is true for parents as well. Mindful parenting is not just about the external relationship we have with our children; it is also about the inner dialogue we have with ourselves. If that inner dialogue is detrimental and/or disturbed, this will likely seep out into our interactions with our children and disrupt the compassion that we must hold for them.

Compassion for Others

The compassion a parent holds for their child should be second to none. The issue with active addiction is that it interrupts this essential compassion. A program of recovery and mindful parenting can help to bring this back.

In recovery, mindful parenting can replace regular self-sabotage, self-control, and self-destruction, which is often constant while in active addiction. It strips these negative aspects of “self” so we can then be selfless, especially when it comes to interacting with our children. One exceptional way to achieve this selflessness is via the practice of prayer and meditation.

Mindful Parenting: Utilizing Prayer and Meditation Over Control

There is a saying in 12-Step recovery that goes, “We must stop being the actor trying to run the whole show.” Notice this doesn’t even say the “director.” We are trying to run a show that we didn’t even create. We were never in charge. This is a futile mission.

Many parents often try to “run the whole show” as well. This is without regard or input from their children. This leads to one-sided conversations and misunderstandings. Meditation and prayer can help us connect to something deeper and relinquish some of that “perceived” control.

Meditation allows us to let go and not only better connect to our children but also connect with something greater than ourselves. Many people feel more comfortable calling this a spiritual connection with a Higher Power of their own understanding, while others like to use the term God. Regardless, it is this spiritual awakening via mediation that can elevate mindful parenting to the next level.

Yahlight: Letting Go and Knowing God

There is a concept in many recovery programs that recovery is analogous to putting on a new pair of glasses. Recovery is about reframing things and seeing life in a new light. It is about letting go of the past and getting to know God on another level.

At Yahlight, we know that the bond between a parent and a child is one of the most precious gifts one can have. It is a bond that knows no bounds or limits, and it is one that is bolstered completely by mindful parenting. Mindful parenting is love. It is compassion, and it is an understanding beyond what we thought we once understood. Mindful parenting can also be a gift of recovery. One that we’ll never wish to return.

Parents in recovery may struggle to connect with their children and maintain healthy family bonds. But, meditation can strengthen the parent-child bond. Mindfulness is about watching and being aware that we are being triggered and that others may also be triggered. Staying relaxed and breathing calmly can help us to stay mindful of ourselves and others at the same time. We have to have two antennas: one going outward and one going inward. This means being compassionate that each person is struggling at the same time and having self-compassion. We must remember that love is patient, and love is kind. Letting go and knowing God is the way toward that love. For more information, please reach out via our website.